15 awesome, thoughtful gifts for the new mother (or father) that you may not have thought of
Do a load (or two) of laundry for the new parents - with all the baby spit-up and other mess, their laundry load will have increased dramatically with the arrival of their baby
I've been thinking a lot about being pregnant lately. No, I’m not currently pregnant! I think it's the fact that my second son will be turning one in less than a month, and I've also been trying to write his birth story for something else I'm working on. I've been reminiscing about how far we've come in this (almost) year and what it felt like to be newly postpartum. It's made me think about what I would tell someone if they asked me, what should I get my pregnant (friend, sister, workmate, daughter, niece, cousin, or even: partner, wife, girlfriend) if I want to make her feel special during this time?
Going through pregnancy and giving birth is a momentous time for a woman. When I brought my first son home from the hospital, I felt like a completely different person to the one that had left a mere few days before. When I brought my second son home from the hospital, we were on the brink of the world turning upside down because of the pandemic. I received one really nice thoughtful gift from a group of friends, and it really made me feel special during this tumultuous time. It turns out those friends would not meet my son until he was 5 months old. With the lack of visitors being able to be physically present, it was nice to have a little something that reminded me that I was not alone.
If you're here and reading this, you probably know a mama-to-be and have perhaps thought that it would be a nice gesture to give her a thoughtful gift to make her feel appreciated and loved during this time of phenomenal change - especially during these pandemic times when it is more difficult (or perhaps not even possible) to be physically present. As a mother two times over, I say follow this thought! New mothers love nothing more than receiving a carefully chosen gift to remind them that they are important too, not just their new baby (no matter how cute they are!). Whether it's her first baby or fifth (especially if it's her fifth!) get her something nice to show her you care.
But maybe you've never gone through the experience of having a baby. Maybe you don't know what would make a great gift that will actually be appreciated. Here, I have come up with a bunch of ideas to help you - for all different types of mother and catering to every budget (some cost very little or are even free). Remember, it's truly the thought that counts here. Some of these are equally good gifts for new dads (because they count too - they may not have physically birthed the baby, but they are probably also exhausted from supporting the mother, and may be experiencing a flurry of emotions as they try to adjust to their new role).
House cleaning service
Make sure to do a round of dishes while you’re visiting - they will love you for it!
When I arrived home after having my second son, I couldn't believe how much mess had accumulated in just a few days. My husband had been so busy shuttling our older son back and forth from the hospital, that the house had fallen into disarray. I must say, it wasn't particularly nice to come home to a dirty kitchen, trash everywhere, and a shower that needed scrubbing.
A lovely gift (especially for the new parents that appreciate a clean space) is to organise for a paid cleaning service to come for a period of time. It could be just once: maybe while mum and baby are still at the hospital, or (budget-permitting) you could pay for someone to come back once a week over the first month or months so that the tired new parents don't have to spend what little energy they have left after baby-duties scrubbing out the toilet.
Don't have the funds for this, but like this idea? You could offer to do it yourself. This might require a bit of convincing on your part (the parents will probably say that it's okay and not to worry) but find a way to do it and they will be eternally grateful.
Meals
Along the same lines, most new parents don't have time to cook meals for themselves. Even if they prepared some freezer meals before the birth, let them save those up for a later time (like the four month sleep regression) and help sort out their lunches and dinners over the first few weeks.
This could be in the form of a restaurant or takeaway gift card.
Or, if you have the skills, you could cook up some meals for them yourself (bonus points if it's something that can be easily eaten while nursing!). Pack it up and take it over to them. In these pandemic times (or if they're not yet up for guests), you could ring the bell and leave your packages at the door.
Set up a "Meal train": this involves coordinating the meal sharing with a group of other people who also know the parents. Basically, you would all work together to come up with a list of meals and decide who would make what and when. Here's a link to an article explaining how you can set one up and some things to consider.
Another option (that may be more relevant to them in the slightly longer term) is to give them a cookbook with lots of quick and easy meal ideas. Think something like Jamie's 15 or 30 Minute Meals, or Gordon Ramsay’s Quick and Delicious - it's quite probable that they will want to streamline their meal prep, inevitably finding that they no longer have the same time as the did pre-baby.
New parents need snacks! Then they can stuff something in their mouths amongst their many other duties.
Snacks
Often new parents, and especially new mothers, have little to no time to have a sit down meal. Everything is on the go: a quick bite here while nursing, a sip of water with the baby on your hip, and biscuits shoved in at 3 am while burping the baby. But, it's critical that new mothers eat nutritious food to aid in their recovery (and milk production, if they're nursing) after the birth. If you can't commit to gifting meals, then maybe give a basket of non-perishable snacks. It's best to aim for the healthiest versions possible (whatever that means to you; but keep in mind that she needs nutrients and calories for healing and milk production) and options that cater to her tastes (ie don't buy her a bunch of almonds if she doesn't like or is allergic to them). Here are some ideas:
Nuts, dried fruit
Muesli bars and protein bars (you could also make your own with all her favourite ingredients)
Muesli or cereal (can be a quick meal)
Nut butters
Crackers
Cans of tuna or other fish (this can also become a quick meal with crackers and chopped raw veggies)
Applesauce
Olives and other jarred vegetables (tomatoes, artichokes, and peppers)
Popcorn
Lactation cookies (you can buy these or make your own)
Muffins (again, you could make your own)
Smoothie "packs" - chuck some chopped fruit, frozen berries, spinach (whatever you think she will like) into plastic bags (or re-usable containers for a more environmentally-friendly version) and then give them to her to put in the freezer. All she needs to do is add the milk or liquid of her choice and blend. You could also add a corresponding "dry ingredient mix" in a jar (perhaps with protein powder, seeds, spices etc), so that she can add a spoon of that before blending. Depending on what's in it, a smoothie can be equivalent to a full meal, and can be easily consumed while nursing.
Drinking vessels
Nursing mothers need a tonne of water. Also, even if she's not nursing, recovery from the birth as well as postpartum night sweats mean that water requirements are very high for new mothers. New parents are also exhausted (there’s no getting out of that one!), so they may also appreciate their coffee now more than ever. Help them fulfil all their beverage requirements with these gifts:
A drink bottle that can be easily used while nursing: think something with a straw type mechanism so she's not having spillages on her sleeping baby at 1 am (I like the straw ones from Camelbak. Another option is to get something that is insulated so that her water stays cool. Pick a large size as well. I know, you're probably thinking: "but I'm sure she already has a drink bottle". My answer: she needs multiple, so that she has access to water everywhere - on her nightstand, at her nursing station, by the couch, in the kitchen, in the car, on the stroller.
A travel coffee (or tea) mug: Everyone knows that new parents are exhausted and so are probably relying on caffeine a little more heavily than usual. The hard thing about nursing (or holding) a baby and drinking a coffee at the same time? You risk spilling that hot coffee on the baby! Disaster! A way around this is to drink coffee (or tea) from a travel mug. Plus, it'll keep their hot drink hot for a lot longer than in a cup!
Along with this, if you wanted to add more to the gift, you could stock them up with some of their favourite tea, coffee, hot chocolate mix, or juice.
Instant Polaroid Camera
Everyone who's had a baby knows that it's almost impossible not to take photos at every moment. At first, anytime the baby does anything (move their arms, open their eyes, purse their lips) is an opportunity to take a photo. As most new parents also know, the amount of photos can get quickly overwhelming, and it's very easy to end up with thousands of photos sitting on your phone that are soon forgotten. It can also be difficult to keep up with a memory book in the fog of exhaustion that caring for a newborn induces (no matter the high aims before the birth). I love the idea of gifting an Instant Polaroid Camera, so that quick snaps can be taken, printed, and then displayed very easily (even if it's just on the fridge). This is a pricier gift, but one that will be appreciated by the type of parent that loves to keep memories - but may not have the time or energy to commit to a more involved memory-keeping expedition.
A "One line a day" 5 year journal
There are lots of places you can get these from, but I like these ones from Mål Paper. The basic concept is that for each day there are five spaces to write - one set of lines for each day of the next five years. As such it becomes a journal full of entries over five years. I think this is a nice simple idea for memory-keeping for new parents. It only requires writing something simple each day (perhaps something funny that happened with their child, or a new milestone reached), and they can just quickly jot something down. Now they won't forget when their baby first smiled, or laughed, or rolled over - or that funny thing their 3, 4, or 5 year old said. This could also be a beautiful gift to give the mother during pregnancy, so that she can start it then and record all her thoughts and feelings while pregnant.
I have lived in cosy jumpers like this one throughout the postpartum period with my second baby.
Beauty, healing, and self-care
In the aftermath of having each of my babies, I felt less than great (wow, that's a wild understatement!). The postpartum period involves a lot of pain, a lot of healing, and a lot of mess. Sometimes, little things like shaving my legs or brushing my teeth made me feel wonderful. So, help the new mum in your life feel her best by gifting her some of her favourite beauty and self-care supplies.
If you don't really know what she will like, you could give her a massage or spa voucher for when she needs a break from the baby and some time to herself.
If you know her well, and her likes, go all out and make up a basket of all the things she loves. Think: face masks, body moisterizers, hair masks, fancy shampoo and conditioner, eye serum, hand cream, body wash, dry brush, hand wash.
A cosy little nursing corner with blanket, pillow, and (most importantly) Kindle
A fresh set of cosy attire
When you're looking after a newborn, you're at home a lot (much like we've all been over this past year). I think it's really nice to have some fresh cosy clothes that make you feel a bit more put together. Here are some ideas:
Pyjamas
A robe
Slippers
Loungewear
A cosy blanket for her (I'm sure she's already received many for the baby). Then she can snuggle up and stay warm while she's up with the baby during the night.
A pillow with a fun pillow cover
A shawl or big scarf - this has many uses for the new mother. She can use it as: a scarf, a blanket for herself, a nursing cover, a blanket for her baby, a changing mat, a pram cover for while the baby is sleeping, a picnic blanket, a tummy time blanket.
At home healing and massage
Help her relax and ease out all those post-pregnancy aches and pains by gifting her some options to massage and relax at home. This gift could also be good for the new dad too - looking after a baby is physical work, with all the rocking, nappy-changing, and holding:
This could be something as simple as a microwavable heat bag (this was a life saver for me with the post-birth contractions I experienced with my second son).
Neck massager
Foot bath with massage function
Oil diffuser (let them fill their house with relaxing scents that mask the underlying odour of baby vomit and poop!)
Post-natal yoga or other exercise classes
If she's the type of person who enjoys exercise, she's probably excited to start working out again after the birth. If you know she likes a certain type of exercise, perhaps you could fund a post-natal course of the same type. She won't be able to do it until she's at least six weeks postpartum or cleared by her doctor, but, by then, she may really appreciate some time out of the house (or alone in a room with a Zoom class, if physical fitness centres aren't yet re-opened). It's great to have some guidance on how to exercise safely postpartum because a lot can be different at first, and it's important to not undo all that hard-won healing.
A night light
They might already have this, but I think it's a good idea to have a few. They will be up a lot during the night over the first few months. If they don't want to wake up their baby even more during changing, feeding, rocking, burping then they will want some soft, low lighting rather than relying on their too-bright overhead lights or lamps.
We had one like this that could be clipped onto the changing table, or shelf etc., but there are many options available. I think ones that offer different lighting settings (softer to brighter) are a good bet, because then the level of light can be adjusted depending on the task.
Me reading from my Kindle while nursing. Bonus points to anyone who can work out what I was reading at the time!
An entertainment voucher
With all the nursing and staying at home, my husband and I watched a lot of TV in the first few months of both of our sons’ lives. Make sure the new parents in your life have access to all the latest and greatest entertainment. There are a bunch of services out there: Netflix, iTunes, Hulu, Amazon Prime, HBO now, YouTube premium, Disney Plus - and they all have the option of buying gift cards. I haven't had much experience with this, but I think that (in most cases) even if the recipient already has an account, they can just add the amount to their balance. The choice of provider will largely depend on what's available in your area.
Another option is to buy them a good old fashioned cinema gift card (for when cinemas re-open again). Then you're treating them to a night out together; which they might be craving in a few months!
A Kindle e-reader
Okay, this is another pricier gift, and it will depend on whether the mother you’re buying for is happy to switch over to eBooks. I had a Kindle for a couple of years before I had my first son, but I really started using it a lot after he was born. I found it so handy to be able to rest it in between his back and my nursing pillow, and could read even while nursing in the dark. I have since attributed my ability to read so many books to my Kindle. It might not be for everyone, but if she's been considering getting one then this might be the perfect time.
My treasured copy of “My Wild and Sleepless Nights”
Books about the mothering or parenting experience
After I had my second son, some of my friends gave me My Wild and Sleepless Nights: A Mother's Story by Clover Stroud. Even though I'm a big reader, I'd never heard of it before. It is a deeply personal story chronicling Clover's first year in her fifth child's life. It was just the perfect, funny, emotional read that I needed after my son was born, and I devoured it in a few days when he was only a couple of weeks old. It made me realise how empowering it is to hear someone else's tale of motherhood, with all the ups and downs. So, if the new mother in your life is of the literary type, then perhaps a mother's memoir like this would be a great gift.
Here are some other similar mother memoirs (I haven't read any of these but they come highly recommended):
The Motherhood by Jamila Rizvi is a collection of essays by Australian writers, with the aim of providing a kind of "village" to the new mother reader. I haven't read it yet, but it looks beautiful. Especially good in these times where we are all quite socially distanced (update: I have since read this and I loved it! See the letter I wrote that was inspired by this book).
Operating Instructions: A Journal of My Son's First Year by Anne Lamott. As the title suggests, this is about Anne's son's first year. She is a funny writer and hits the nail on the head with her descriptions. A warning though: this motherhood story is set against her friend's illness, so this might be a bit too heavy for some. Only gift it if you know that aspect won't bother her.
A Life's Work: On Becoming a Mother by Rachel Cusk: Another honest memoir about being in the "trenches" of early motherhood.
Black Milk: On the Conflicting Demands of Writing, Creativity, and Motherhood by Elif Shafak. This book may be perfect for the creative type who has concerns about balancing being a mother and her creative life.
Don't forget about the new parents after the first few weeks (they will need you more than ever after the initial "honeymoon" phase)
After the first couple of months the gifts stop arriving, the help stops being offered, and the pre-made meals are all long gone. Simultaneously, the novelty of new parenthood has worn off, the honeymoon phase is over, and the cumulative sleep deprivation is reaching an all time high. This is when now, more than ever, you can demonstrate your true awesomeness as a friend, family member, of the parents, or partner of the mother, by sweeping in with another gift.
Call the mother or father up a couple of months after her baby is born and ask: "what can I do for you?" If they don’t have an answer in mind, or are too embarrassed to give you any ideas, then come over with something from the list above - maybe they need some more food, maybe they need an inspiring book, or maybe they need someone to give their bathroom a good deep clean.
At around the six week point (just after she's been cleared for "normal life" by her doctor), you could set up a bath pack for her. Before six weeks postpartum it's generally not recommended to have a bath, but after that point she's free to finally have a nice long soak. Compile some nice bath supplies: epsom salts, bubbles, even a bath tray, a bottle of champagne, and a new book. Head over, tell her you will look after the baby while she has an hour to herself in the bathroom. I can't think of any new mother that would say no to that!
So there you have it, some ideas on ways to make new parents (but new mothers, especially) feel loved, appreciated, and supported during the time of dramatic change that is the weeks and months following the birth of a baby. Hopefully you've taken at least a couple of new ideas to use.
Are you a parent? What was the most special thing someone did for or gave to you after your baby was born? Have any further gift ideas or gestures? Leave them all in the comments below!
If you liked this, you might also be interested in:
If you are pregnant or a new mother, head directly to ‘Motherhood Together’ - for all articles and resources at your fingertips.
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