Not just a diplomatic spouse: a multifaceted career, moving around the world, and self-reinvention (Interview with Alexandra Paucescu)
I had the pleasure of interviewing Alexandra Paucescu. Alexandra is married to a diplomat but, while she takes her role very seriously, she is by no means just a diplomatic spouse. Alexandra is a writer – she has authored two books: her memoir, Just a Diplomatic Spouse, and her recent children’s story, Bonnie Goes Around the World. She has also published articles on a wide range of topics. Having a background in intercultural communication, she also lectures on the subject, she volunteers for a variety of organisations, and she is a mother. In short, she does a lot!
Alexandra has had to contend with a lot of change in her life – moving around from posting to posting – making her a master of adaptation and self-reinvention. Read on to discover how she acclimatises to new situations, how she manages her multifaceted career across different moves, and much more. I really enjoyed this interview with Alexandra, and am inspired by her open-minded approach to life and her ability to confidently follow her passions.
Background
You’ve had quite a diverse career so far – from writing books, to management, journalism, volunteering…can you give us a little background to your career and how you got to where you are now?
My life certainly took a big twist the minute we started moving abroad, as a diplomatic family. I was forced to go out of my comfort zone and that, as I discovered later, is often quite beneficial for your self-development. Often, when you move abroad on diplomatic missions, you find it impossible to perform your original profession and you try to find new ways to stay professionally relevant and TO REINVENT YOURSELF.
You’re also a ‘diplomatic spouse’: where do you currently live, and what has your nomadic journey looked like so far?
At the moment we are back to our home country, Romania. We just moved back home in late August, after 6 years spent in Berlin, Germany. Although I am extremely busy all day, I still feel like I need some time to process the move and to fully adjust to my current location. Often, it makes no difference whether you move abroad or back home, the shock is there every time…
What have been some of the challenges you have faced living this international lifestyle?
I would say that the most difficult aspect for me is to try to start all over again, mostly from scratch, every time we move. I try to build my own world, my own routines and then, after a while, I have to leave it all behind and think about what I should do next, in another part of the world. It is interesting and offers you great opportunities, but it is nerve consuming and terribly emotionally demanding, at least for me. Otherwise, as I am trained in intercultural communication and cultural diplomacy, I find it quite easy to blend in and adjust to new cultures, as I always come with an open mind and heart and try to take things the way they are.
What have been some of the fun and exciting moments?
I can think of many good memories that I have from living abroad. Imagine that during those years, I became a mother and raised my children in different foreign countries. New York will always be the most romantic city to me, as we got married there. Vienna is going to be forever bound to my memories of giving birth to my son. It’s where I first met him and I can never forget that. Years later, when we came back to Vienna, I saw different buildings in the city and instantly remembered something related to them… when we got caught in a terrible rain near the City Hall, when we celebrated St. Martin in the park, where we ate the best fish or the best cake. The same with Berlin… although my memories from there are still very fresh, I already feel some kind of nostalgia: I remember my daily walks in the city, my UNICEF team, my favourite Spanish restaurant. These are all parts of normal life, but to me they are special, as they keep changing and I add new ones every once in a while.
Writing
You write a range of things – from articles, to books, to children’s books – how did you get into writing?
I have always found pleasure in writing but I had never given a serious thought to it until a few years ago, when I got the idea of writing a memoir. All the rest came naturally, and it feels like I have finally discovered my true calling.
What do you most enjoy about writing?
When I write, I feel like all my creativity is unleashed and that I have the power to express freely, without the usual self- censorship that I normally have in my everyday life. Of course, I can never forget about my diplomatic role and I am usually ‘diplomatic’ about certain topics ☺.
What is your writing process?
I write mostly articles these days, so the writing process is quite different depending on what I write. I have a topic, I do research and then I put it down on paper. As a particular thing, I always take handwritten notes and I type everything afterwards.
Do you work on multiple projects at once? How do you manage the different types of writing you do?
When we talk about the books, I wrote them separately, so no mixed emotions of inspiration. When I interview someone, I try to focus on the person and concentrate on the life story, which is unique every time. When I write other kinds of articles, I try to read as much as possible on the topic first.
Just a Diplomatic Spouse
What inspired you to decide to write your first book Just a Diplomatic Spouse? (I love the title, by the way!)
Thanks! ☺ The title came at the start, as it reminds me of a situation I l experienced while in Vienna. It is a bit sarcastic, as you might imagine… I started this project with the idea to share some of my experiences in this book and maybe help others in the same situation. The book explains a lot about the diplomatic world, from ranks to etiquette and specific customs. Then, I thought about my other passion, travelling, and decided to add some honest impressions about the many places we’ve visited over the years, while abroad on diplomatic missions. So, if you want to discover Austria and Germany through my eyes, read it! It also has a small chapter with guidelines to expat life. It has certainly helped some people already, judging from the feedback I’ve received.
Do you think you will write a ‘sequel’ to Just a Diplomatic Spouse, or take it in a different direction (like a guidebook/workbook, coaching, a course, for example)?
I have often received this question and maybe I will give it more thought in a few years, after a few more postings ☺. We’ll see. For now I am concentrating on my journalistic work.
I have recorded a couple of podcasts where I have been invited to talk about the diplomatic life, and I always tried to give tips and advice from my own experience.
Boni Goes Around the World
I love the storyline of Boni Goes around the World – it sounds like it might have been inspired by some of your travels – could you tell us a bit of the backstory behind this book?
‘Boni Goes around the World’ is the magical story of a little girl who travels to twelve different places in just one night. It is a bedtime story about family bonds and travelling, but it is also deeply motivational. I wanted to inspire children with the desire to know more, to explore and not to be afraid to dream of great things. Anything is possible if you really want it! I am the living proof of these words.
Will there be more children’s books to come?
I started this writing journey without knowing how sensitive and often complicated this approach is. Children's books must follow a set of rules and regulations, from pagination, topic, to illustrations and message. Everything must be said so that children can understand, in simple and few words, but with an educational role. It is certainly not an easy job but, after a few kindergarten workshops with the book and after seeing the joy and interest from my young readers, my efforts have been rewarded for sure.
Time management + motivation
How do you stay motivated?
It is not easy and I have moments of discouragement, when it seems that all my efforts are in vain… I try to think then about my achievements and focus on the good experiences, in order to go on.
What does a typical work day look like for you?
My schedule is very different, depending where I am. If I am home in Bucharest, I go to the office every day and then home with the kids. I write my pieces in the evenings mostly and, when not busy, I go out with my husband and old friends that I so much miss when I am away.
On our diplomatic destinations, I try to keep busy, too. I go to diplomatic events, write, volunteer for different organizations and travel as much as I can.
Resources + Advice
What is the best piece of life advice you’ve ever heard?
I would say that my favourite life quote sums it up: ‘Enjoy life today, tomorrow is never promised!’
What advice would you give someone who wants to transition to being a full time writer?
I think this is a huge decision and you should first think if you can deal with all the consequences. Don’t rush it! Don’t be discouraged and just listen to your heart, not to anyone’s opinion.
Do you have any resources or advice for someone wanting to write in English when it’s not their native language?
I would say that you definitely need a native speaker as editor. No matter how well you speak a language, there will always be nuances that only a native speaker understands and can fully express. But at the same time, your specific way of speaking can help and give a special and original flavour to the text. You can also consider this ... so don't edit it all :)
What’s next?
What's next for you in your career?
I would really like to know that myself! As we are not yet sure when and where we are going to be next, I cannot make long term plans. That’s always stressing me out but I discovered that a more laid-back approach on life is preferable. So I am in the process of learning to take it slowly.
Final words
I hope you enjoyed, and are inspired by, this interview today with Alexandra Paucescu. Do check out Alexandra’s memoir and children’s book if you are interested, and you can also follow her journey over on Instagram.
Today’s post was an interview with Alexandra Paucescu
Alexandra Paucescu is the author of Just a Diplomatic Spouse and Boni Goes around the World.
She is a Romanian management graduate with a Master’s in business, cultural diplomacy and international relations studies. She speaks Romanian, English, French, German, and Italian, gives lectures on intercultural communication, and is an active NGO volunteer.
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