Evergreen Bookclub 3: ‘Make your bed’ by William H McRaven
I don’t think my bed making is up to Navy standards!
This month's Evergreen Bookclub pick is short and sweet, but full of insights. And, by ‘this month’ I mean the past month (which was June) - there will be another instalment for July as well!
Note: If you're new around here, you can read more about the philosophy of the Evergreen Bookclub. Essentially, my aim is to connect reading with life. These are not book summaries or reviews, but instead, related questions and exercises that I have devised. My hope is that we can dive deeper into the books we read.
Written by Navy Seal, William H McRaven, 'Make Your Bed: Little Things That Can Change Your Life...And Maybe the World' is a small book full of stories about his days in the Navy. These stories act as preludes to meaty little bites of life advice that are simple, yet impactful.
The book is based on his University of Texas class of 2014 commencement speech. You can watch it here or read the transcript here.
Let's get stuck into the questions! (Remember to join my email list if you would like a pdf of the questions alone, without all my notes in-between. I send this out as part of my monthly Inspiration Round-up, where I share all my current sources of inspiration, fun, and knowledge).
Chapter 1: Start your day with a task completed
The task he completes at the beginning of each day is to make his bed.
But, the important thing here is to complete a task (a small task) - it doesn't have to be making your bed. For instance, I can't make my bed first thing because I have to sneak out of the bedroom without waking up my 16 month old.
Q1: Can you think of an alternative task(s) that you could start the day completing?
eg flossing, tidying up a part of the house, cleaning your breakfast dishes, doing a micro exercise session...
Chapter 2: You can't go it alone
McRaven’s advice is to 'find someone to help you paddle'. He goes on: 'You cannot paddle the boat alone. Find someone to share your life with. Make as many friends as possible, and never forget that your success depends on others.'
Q2: Who is a person you can rely on? What about for the various aspects of your life? List some more people you can depend on.
Q3: Can you think of a time in your life where your success has depended on someone else? Who? Was it one of the people from the previous question? What was the situation? How did they help you be successful?
Q4: Can you think of a time in your life where you’ve seemingly relied only on yourself for your success? Was it really the case that no one helped you at all?
Chapter 3: Only the size of your heart matters
'Measure a person by the size of their heart'.
Q5: Can you recall a situation when you made assumptions about other people based upon your own misconceptions?
Q6: Can you recall a time when someone else made assumptions about you based upon their misconceptions? How did it make you feel? How did you respond?
Chapter 4: Life's not fair - drive on!
'Get over being a sugar cookie and keep moving forward'. As a punishment for failing a uniform inspection, SEAL trainees are ordered to roll around on the sand until they resemble 'sugar cookies’.
'Sometimes no matter how hard you try, no matter how good you are, you still end up as a sugar cookie. Don't complain. Don't blame it on your misfortune. Stand tall, look to the future, and drive on!’
Q7: What are some strategies you can use to continue to stand tall even when you inevitably end up as a 'sugar cookie'? (Perhaps it's some positive affirmations, remaining aware of your good qualities, or surrounding yourself with people who support you and lift you up).
Chapter 5: Failure can make you stronger
'Don't be afraid of the circus’. In the Navy, a circus is two extra hours of physical exercise, as a punishment.
'In life you will face a lot of Circuses. You will pay for your failures. But, if you persevere, if you let those failures teach you and strengthen you, then you will be prepared to handle life's toughest moments.’
Q8: When have you failed? What have you done in response? Did you persevere or give up?
Q9: If you gave up: why? What qualities/mindset/support do you think you would have required in order to have kept going?
Q10: If you didn't give up: why not? What qualities/mindset/support encouraged you to continue, despite your failure?
Chapter 6: You must dare greatly
'Slide down the obstacle headfirst’.
'Life is a struggle and the potential for failure is ever present, but those who live in fear of failure, or hardship, or embarrassment will never achieve their potential.’
Q11: What's something you can do today to dare greatly? To dive headfirst? To exceed your limits?
Q12: When have you dared greatly and realised that your potential was more than you thought it was?
Chapter 7: Stand up to the bullies
'Don't back down from the sharks’.
Q13: In general, do you stand up for yourself, or do you let the 'bullies' win?
Q14: If you don't normally stand up for yourself, why do you think that is? What strategies could you use in order to stand up for yourself next time?
Chapter 8: Rise to the occasion
'Be your very best in the darkest moments’.
'Tonight, you will have to be your very best. You must rise above your fears, your doubts, and your fatigue. No matter how dark it gets, you must complete the mission.'
Q15: When have you experienced a dark moment in which you managed to be your best?
Q16: What does it mean to be your best? What are some of the qualities that help you get through challenges?
Chapter 9: Give people hope
'Start singing when you're up to your neck in mud’.
'We will all find ourselves neck deep in mud someday. That is the time to sing loudly, to smile broadly, to lift up those around you and give them hope that tomorrow will be a better day.’
Q17: Can you think of a time when you were experiencing something really difficult but you still managed to give others hope? How do you know you achieved this?
Q18: Think of some strategies to develop the kind of mindset that will mean you'll 'start singing [or your equivalent] when you're up to your neck in mud’.
For instance, one for me is keeping forefront in my mind how much my mood and responses to things have an impact on my kids (both negatively and positively). Being aware of this (and reminding myself) gives me motivation to respond well and have a positive influence on them.
Chapter 10: Never, ever quit!
'Don't ever, ever ring the bell’.
Q19: When have you quit something? Why did you quit? Do you think it was the best decision in retrospect?
Q20: On the other hand, when have you continued on with something even though you wanted to quit? Was this the best decision? Why didn't you quit? What did you learn about yourself?
Finally:
Q21: What was your biggest insight from 'Make your bed'?
I hope you enjoyed this shorter Evergreen Bookclub. 'Make your bed' is a concise little book that I definitely recommend reading. But, if you don't have the time or inclination, at least listen to the welcome address and give the questions above a go.
As always, let me know about your insights and thoughts in the comments below, or contact me directly here. Leave any extra questions you think of as well!
Will you be making your bed tomorrow morning?
Further reading
If you’re interested in continuing on with the military theme, then you might also like ‘Can't Hurt Me: Master Your Mind and Defy the Odds’ by David Goggins. It’s been on my TBR for way too long - it looks really interesting.
'Man’s Search for Meaning' by Viktor E Frankl - Lessons learned from surviving a Nazi concentration camp. I read it a long time ago, and am definitely due for a re-read. Here’s a taster: ‘Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.’
‘Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead’ by Brene Brown. Perhaps a slightly different take on what it means to live courageously.
If you enjoyed this iteration of the Evergreen Bookclub, you might also be interested in:
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